Why Are Amazing Men Are So Hard To Find?

datingapp blog, Dating

-Jessica Johnston-

Why does finding a good man these days feel strangely similar to finding a needle in a haystack? Even if we take our high standards, expectations, and delusions about the perfect man right off the table, the good men still seem to be elusive these days. Don’t worry, they do still exist out there in the world, but this may be why you can’t find that amazing guy so easily:


He’s busy working on himself

I met my boyfriend volunteering at an animal shelter on a tiny island in the gulf of Thailand. I’m not saying your soul mate is 7,000 miles away in a foreign country knee-deep in animal sh*t, but he’s probably out there doing something amazing with his life rather than simply waiting around for his dream girl to show up. It makes complete sense when you think about it: I love animals and traveling, my boyfriend loves animals and traveling… so it’s not surprising that I met my soul mate while doing something that I passionately love. Which brings me to point #2: You’re looking in all the wrong places.


You’re looking in all the wrong places

I’m talking to you women who go out to the club on a Saturday night in the hopes that McDreamy is waiting for you on the dancefloor. McDreamy is not there: 1. Because he’s a fictional character from Grey’s Anatomy, but 2. Because your own McDreamy is probably not going to be at the club picking up chicks. Your dream guy is far more likely to be at the places you like visiting yourself – maybe that’s the dog park, or the gym, or that vintage coffee shop you love. And don’t worry, if you haven’t found him at any of the places you love, you’re still far more likely to find him on a dating app than at the club, and maybe your McDreamy is out there waiting in your Bracket!


Hookup culture has taken over

Although there are an abundance of great guys out there, some have unfortunately fallen into the black hole I like to call modern dating. Although hooking up isn’t a bad thing, it unfortunately is starting to replace dating and even relationships. Many singles have become accustomed to the idea that going on a date is just the foreplay you go through before getting some action. Others just skip over the date part entirely and decide to “Netflix and Chill” instead. This makes it frustratingly hard to figure out who the good guys are, and who is just interested in getting into your pants!


People keep holding out for the “next best thing”

They think their perfect match is one swipe away – and then after 40 more swipes, thinks she’s still probably just one swipe away. In reality, you’re not going to make a meaningful connection if you’re swiping through hundreds of people each day, so you’re never going to find that “next best thing”. Bracket has made it one hundred thousand times more likely for you to meet the guy of your dreams, because you actually have to eliminate 15 other people just for the chance to talk to them. Wouldn’t you be impressed if a guy denied 15 beautiful women because he wanted you and only you? I’d feel like a damn queen!

Commitment-a-phobia is becoming a plague

It’s becoming far too common these days to go without the boyfriend-girlfriend title. I’m not saying being title-less is always a bad thing, but with hookup culture running rampage, some women want that reassurance that you’re in a relationship with her and only her. Commitment-a-phobia is becoming a fast-spreading plague though, and even the mere mention of a relationship can send shivers down some guy’s spines, which makes finding a good guy who isn’t afraid of commitment seem damn near impossible!